Here we are. 2010. New year. Same resolutions. Eat better/less. Exercise more. Spend less. Save more. Entitlement less. Suffer more. Been reading a lot of Buddhist studies and have come to realize that I don't suffer enough. I am not sure any of us Americans do. (Not talking about the soldiers!) I think I got so caught up in the "I deserve" movement that I got lost in Entitlement City. When you read this, don't get all self-righteous on me either. You know you have parked in the fire lane once or twice at the grocery store to "just run in for a second".
I know the recession is much more complicated than I could ever imagine. But what if it wasn't? What if it boiled down to we just don't suffer enough. We either deny, repress, justify, conjole, manipulate, coerce, drink, eat, sleep, drug, take a pill, see a doctor, get surgery, blame, divorce, project, drive fast, hate, watch tv, move, ignore, change the subject, focus on something else, work, or leave. We just won't tolerate much of anything at all. Especially if it is not comfortable or convenient or feels like some kind of instant gratification isn't gonna happen, well NOW.
How did we get here? You already know the answer to this. Trust me. Otherwise, more denial, right?
How will get out of here? To begin to suffer. Ok, no one likes that word. But to really begin to experience things, completely, compassionately, consciously, and with company. Sorry for the long alliteration, but it just went that way.
Well, why am I so upset about it, you ask? Because I am mad I let myself get this way and go so far. Damn it, I just got caught up in the whole crazy "Me Generation". I wonder what's next? The "Poor Me" Generation? Are we all going to be victims now because we lost something in this recession? Now that would be continuing on with the same behavior of "not wanting to suffer", wouldn't it?
What do I mean by "to suffer"? To experience, consciously, with no other blockers. By blockers I mean tv, sleep, drugs, alcohol, work, etc....all those things I named above. But nobody likes pain, especially me...SO WHY SUFFER THEN????? Seriously, I read the other day that many of us would not survive without the use of denial. Denial is actually saving lives because people can't take on and embrace the amount of pain that is coming at them right now. Some truth probably lies here. BUT WHAT IF WE DID SUFFER? What if we allowed ourselves to truly immerse and experience the pain of something bad going on in our lives....would we die? Probably not.
Gotta unpack all this luggage. Too heavy. All that repressing and denying has to land somewhere. I read a neat article about a woman who "Travels Lightly". In other words, she wants to leave only her footstep, not her 12 pieces of Gucci Luggage dragging across the earth. I like this metaphor. How do we all begin to travel lightly and leave less than we take. It is so much more than just being "green". Being conscious of our justifications of why we need what we need. A reexamining of TRULY what is the most important thing to us.
The Australians have one thing right: Greed is just not in their vocabulary. They have four weeks of holiday and it goes up from there every year they work. Here is the clencher: THEY TAKE THE FOUR WEEKS. The dont' sell it back. They don't save it up forever. They cherish their time off like no other culture I have ever seen before. I used to give my fellow Aussies grief when I heard they had not traveled much out of the Country, much less the State. I immediately begin to judge because I am world traveler, which somehow makes me more superior. Whatever. What I finally came to realize is Less is More. It is not necessary to see everything, do everything, know everything, buy everything, keep everything, control everything, READ EVERYTHING, etc. How are we going to just "be"? I am not sure there is room for "Be all you can be" in my life anymore. Too overwhelming, too much pressure. I just want to be me. Simple, right? We shall see!
